[Kazuya frowned at the 'Either Or-kun', giving Hyoubu a rather sharp, narrowed glance. What a smartass! Still, he could tolerate it. Besides spraying him in the face with a hose and messing with his name, the guy was a good guy, he could tell. He was like Naoya in that respect - annoying and lame, but a decent person once you get past their very numerous flaws. They even had the same colour hair!
That thought was quickly followed by a stab of dull pain. Ah, right, Naoya. For a moment, he'd almost forgotten that they were on shaky ground with each other right now. Well, at least they made up to the point where Naoya wasn't passive-aggressively trying to kill him or goad him into murdering him in some fucked up revenge/redemption scheme anymore. Really, he just didn't seem to get that Kazuya didn't hate him. He was such an idiot.
He forcibly shoved that thought down, realising that he'd been quiet for a moment too long]
Major sounds really stiff. I'll just call you Hyoubu. Or Kyousuke? [his head tilted slightly, expression thoughtful - he wasn't bothered with the politeness of first name/last name, and usually gave out his first name to be used, even to complete strangers. As such, he did come across as rude or just plain odd] Ah, whatever, I'll say whichever I feel like at the time.
[ He doesn't need to be a telepath to see that Kazuya is having a lot of feelings right now. ]
Major Hyoubu-sama then? Good!
[ While they've been conversing, the last of the aggressive paparazzi have been chased out, and people have come in to clear out the mess, and bring in long tables, upon which they're setting up all kinds of merchandise. It's colorful and eye-catching, and...
Hyoubu gaze shifts from Kazuya to the table, and then back again. ]
Heh. That looks interesting.
[ With his hands in his pockets he saunters over to one of the tables, and stops in front of something. It's an item with Kazuya's face on it. To be specific, it's a dakimakura. ]
[Right, next opportunity Kazuya got he was calling him Methuselah. That'd wind him up, having old man hair and all]
Hn? What looks...
[Kazuya's voice trailed off when he noticed what Hyoubu was looking at, his face going blank. He looked away, and then looked back. Nope. It was still there. Why was it there? The sheer ridiculousness of it blunted any indignant anger he may've felt. All he could do was stare in mute horror, slowly moving his gaze over the other items. Mugs, perfumes, comics- oh, hey, wait-]
Naoya?
[Broken from his horrified staring, he moved a little closer to the stall, Hyoubu briefly forgotten. Yup, there was Naoya on some of the merchendise too, silvery hair and smug red eyes. Well, this was beginning to get... creepy...]
[ Hyoubu, meanwhile, isn't the least bit shy about approaching the stall, and is reaching for a Kazuya-shaped keychain, when he hears the boy exclaim. ]
Hm?
[ He looks up. There's a poster of two boys, Kazuya and another that he hasn't seen before. He glances away from it for a moment, to look at Kazuya's face, and then back at the —
[Kazuya paused, then frowned, because there wasn't an easy label to stick to "Naoya". Technically, they were cousins, but far back in the past, when humanity was just beginning, they were brothers - up until Naoya murdered him, the jerk. Yeah, how was he going to explain that? Spoiler: he wasn't]
My brother. [Since that was what Naoya called him in the end. It was true, in a spiritual sense, he supposed] He's a jerk and difficult to get along with, since he puts people off with his weird ability of... I dunno what it's called. Like, hm, he's so smart that he can predict what someone does before they do it, and it's really annoying sometimes.
[He puffed out his cheeks, looking briefly irritated, before it softened] But he's a good guy, really, once you get past that. Still, though, I don't like his face being plastered on this stuff. [He scowled] He looks too smug... jerk...
[ He smiles at Kazuya's description. He's sufficiently self-aware that he knows a lot of that could apply easily enough to him. Even so, he flicks his hair like this and says in what he hopes is an insufferably smug voice: ]
It's difficult being a genius! Besides...
[ He slides his hands back in his pockets. ]
You're going to get your wish very soon. Look closely.
[ He points at the poster. He's familiar enough with the wiles of this place. People from one's life who aren't here in the city, appear in various guises and then vanish without a trace or explanation. ]
[Hyoubu got a weird side glance at the hair flip, but Kazuya was quickly distracted by Naoya's visage disappearing from the merchandise. His expression could easily be summed as 'what the fuck']
This place is going to be bad for my mental health, I just know it. [On the bright side, at least there was accessible food and no ravenous demons lurking around every corner to eat you. That was something, he supposed, crazed soul-stealing photographers aside...] What rules is this world even running on? Nonsense, that's what. Absolute nonsense. Even Babel's domain made more sense than this, and that was a pocket dimension!
[Kaz looked just as uncertain as Yu. It was clear that he was puzzled by this scene, especially as nothing seemed to be happening. If it wasn't for the slight movement of the high grass, Kazuya would've assumed the scene was a complete still, like a blurry picture you'd see on someone's blog or something]
Is this yours? I don't remember...
[Kazuya wanted to look away, but he felt almost transfixed. The scene seemed to flicker slightly, darken almost, the sky... darkening a little, reddening - a sunset? But no, the sun was still high up in the blue-red sky, dimmer around the edges, casting dark shadows over the waving grass, though some of it looked... slick? Wet? Yes, no, those weren't shadows. They looked like splatters, in a distinct pattern, over some of grass, clumping them together. Splatters of...
...of...?]
Ugh...
[His brain suddenly felt like something was squeezing it tightly, and he closed his eyes against the scene on the mirror, one hand lifting to press against his left eye. It was burning, suddenly, a persistent, piercing throb. He felt like... that should be familiar? Should it? The unease was still there. Something was telling him he didn't want to know. He really didn't want to know]
W-Whatever it is, let's just ignore it. [He managed to shrug off the sudden vertigo, turning away from the mirror, from Yu, that dreadful unease beginning to morph into something... else...] C'mon.
... this isn't mine, [ Yu says softly. He lived in the city for most of his life, and there aren't fields like this outside of Inaba. Kazuya's reaction is genuinely starting to worry him. He starts to reach out, but hesitates, thinking Kazuya probably won't appreciate any kind of physical contact from him, of all people. He drops his hand, and only nods.
Rather than say anything more, he heads for the door, yanking it back open. He gestures for Kazuya to go ahead of him, trying not to let his gaze be drawn back to the slowly reddening mirrors. ]
[Kazuya tried not to make it look like he was outright fleeing for the door, but the red field was crowding close in his peripheral vision, and - he swore he could suddenly smell copper, earth, the overpowering stench of split- no, shit, this was him just imagining things. Don't think about stuff like that
He managed to reach the door without incident, his eyes flickering to the mirror where - blurred shapes were in the field now, and it looked like- a person leaning over someone half-submerged in the waving cattails, his arm raised high, clutching something, but the whole scene was in so many shades of red it was difficult to even tell what was happening. The field had blended in with the sky, the sun was a burning, piercing ball of violent crimson and- no, stop looking at it you moron!]
Shit. Damn it. No, not remembering that, not remembering it. Out, let's get out out out~
[Instead of pushing his own way out of the building like every scrap of instinct he possessed was screaming at him to do, there was still some detached part of him that made him reach out to grasp Yu by the arm and practically drag him out of the building with him. Kaz wasn't taking any chances. He leaves and, what, the mirrors focus on Yu-Yu instead? No way, Kaz wasn't going to come back in here to save him even if the whole place was on fire! Yu was coming with him right now!
So, apologies for getting hauled out of the building by a very openly distressed Kazuya. He practically staggered out of the door too, only letting go of Yu's arm once he registered they were outside and not in that claustrophobic building, his whole body shaking and his head pounding like a drum. That was... intense. Still felt intense. Everywhere he looked, he could see phantom streaks of red, still imagine the smell until he was genuinely worried that he was actually going to vomit. He managed to hold it in]
Fuuuuuck... fuck, fuck that place... [he was bracing himself on his knees, taking deep breaths like he just finished running a marathon] Fuck it hell.
[ Yu chokes on a noise of surprise as Kaz grabs his arm and yanks him out of the building too. He wasn't expecting that. He doesn't fight against it, and just lets himself be tugged along, his eyes a little wide as he trots along in Kaz's wake. His memory-drunk tilt makes it hard to follow along without stumbling, but Yu manages it until he's released. Slowly he'll draw his arm back, staring at the other boy impassively, not sure how to process what just happened or what he was seeing on those mirrors.
The more he learns about the boy who would murder him for Minato's sake, the more he grows ... concerned.
[Kazuya felt like he was on sturdier ground when Yu finally spoke up - mentally speaking. Wrestling his breathing under control, he straightened up and scrubbed at his face with his trembling hands. Jesus Christ. Get it together, man]
Yup. I'm fine. [Somehow, he managed to sound chirpy, lowering his hands and turning to Yu with a somewhat competent poker face. Somewhat. He still looked a little pale] Okay. Calm. I'm calm.
[Okay, good. Definitely on solid ground now. Okay. Potential disaster averted. What disaster it was... he had no idea. Already, that looming dreadful feeling was retreating, leaving him shaking from adrenaline and confused relief but... it was okay. He was totally A-Okay]
Sorry - I didn't hurt you or anything when dragging you out, did I?
[Heart rate back to normal, breathing normal... yup, it's like Nothing Had Happened!]
[Or a very dedicated, creepy stalker who had constructed a delusional fantasy of them being married. Either way, Kaz supposed it didn't really matter what Eyelash Saiduq was to Hiro, exactly, only that he was that idiot's responsibility]
Whatever. I suppose if you're Hiro's, then you're not gonna cause much trouble for the humans around here...
[He hoped, anyway. Hiro seemed to run a tight ship in regards to collateral safety. Emphasis on "seemed"]
[Kazuya didn't hide his magical abilities, but he didn't exactly want to admit that he had been startled so badly by the mirror that he had lashed out without thinking. He fidgeted sheepishly, giving the guy a critical once over as well]
I kinda... summoned them, er, yeah so, um, you alright? No burns, yeah?
[ he double-checks himself for burns, making absolutely sure that the streak of black around his wrist is just a smudge of dirt, but looks up wide-eyed when he hears what kazuya's saying. ]
You ... summoned then? [ he's half awed and half looking ready to take a nervous step back. ] ... I -- see.
[ he totally doesn't. 'magic' is still a strange and nebulous concept to him, and he clearly needs a moment to process that before asking: ]
May -- I ask why you did? Is there something threatening in here?
[ immediately looking around to check if there's a monster hiding somewhere near them. ]
That's what Blood Wine's for. It's like cannibalising yourself for spell currency.
[It was a lifesaving ability that angels possessed - sacrificing your own blood to generate enough spiritual power to cast spells. It had been a desperate time, with Kazuya having to cast Prayer as swiftly as he could to cleanse the demon parasitism before the flies could successfully incubate. Praying over and over and over, spilling more and more of his own blood...
...
If he'd been fully human then, he would've died from exsanguination]
I don't know how it is for you. You're different from the angels I know - not in personality, but how you do your thing. Faith gives you power, yeah, that's true, the more a human believes in an entity, the stronger it is, but, like, true power lies in emotions. Fear, desperation, hatred... if you draw on that enough, you'll be surprised how far you can go.
[Kazuya was very calm as he explained this, and he wasn't looking at anything in particular. He didn't even look weary or strained. He just looked... blank]
Cannibalizing oneself? Good Lord, Master Kaz. That sounds terribly demonic!
[Very far indeed. And it is hard for Kevin to comprehend any of this.]
Even if you are a messiah...Even if you are supposed to suffer.... You should have known! God's greatest power is love.
[ It has nothing to do with worm parasites or losing blood - okay, perhaps it has something to do with losing blood - but then again, it seems like this little messiah has missed the point entirely. Every single sacrifice is made out of love.
Oh God, he is starting to sound like Solomon, isn't he?]
[Kaz felt something complex, then. There was no word for the emotion, but it sat like tar behind his breastbone, searing so hot that for a brief moment, Kaz felt like he could spit literal fire.
Love. God's greatest power was love. That sentence refused to compute. He could only stare at Kevin blankly, uncomprehending, beginning to realise that the boiling tar-like feeling in his chest was an alien, inhuman rage.
His or Bel's? He... couldn't tell...]
What... things really are different from where you are, huh? [Kaz smiled wryly] I didn't see any of that love. You angels were pretty damn eager to kill and subjugate the whole lot of us back home. Do you know what the ultimatum was? If I didn't become the messiah, humanity would've had its free will completely stripped and about, oh, few thousand innocent lives wiped off the map in an instant by God. How's that for love.
[God must punish those who behave badly. It a very difficult position any loving parent must accept, okay. Or so Kevin wants to believe. Very much so.]
You are saying that heaven wished to turn all humans into saints. Is that really bad? Free will is overrated, Master Kaz. [He has never understood the point of it anyway.] Angels were never granted free will and we are perfectly fine.
[Yes, this one-winged, kind of psychotic and pretty confused angel is perfectly fine. Michael is perfectly fine. Metatron is perfectly fine. You've got to trust him on that.]
[How was this conversation more emotionally draining than briefly reliving the Belzaboul battle? That alien rage bubbling in his chest still burned, but Kazuya was able to disentangle himself from it - Bel's, he identified. That was Bel, snarling close to his consciousness. Kazuya felt...
...
You know, he just felt tired. He couldn't even get annoyed at Kevin for his unthinkingly naive comments. Just... he really didn't know any better. It'd be like getting mad at a child, or something. Plus, he wasn't going to get into an argument about free will, or why it was better than being a creepy psychopathic puppet. He felt like it'd be never ending.
What he was going to ask though...]
Can I ask you something? Like... I don't understand. [Kazuya stared down at his hands] I genuinely don't understand why everything is how it is. You said God's greatest power is His love, right? So why is He so eager to hurt and punish us for something He gave us? Like, there were bad people in that lockdown, but they were such a minority. Everyone else... they suffered for no reason. They didn't do anything bad, they just wanted to go home, but instead, so many died for no reason, and... I really don't understand why He would let that happen.
[And Kazuya remembered then, Naoya clutching tight at his shoulders, murmuring with such frenzied passion about how the world's ills were all God's fault, how human suffering could be drawn back to one single entity, how human progress and potential was stifled by God's hand, because He feared the heights that humanity could reach. For some reason, remembering that left him uneasy, just as it did then]
[Oh yes, he does have doubts. But doubts sometimes lead to angels losing their wings. Kevin knows that better than most.
This conversation is as dangerous to Kevin as it is draining to Kazuya. He takes a deep breath and speaks quietly, attempting to measure his words:]
I think He hopes...He hopes that you will choose right. But you are terribly dumb and keep making bad decisions. The rules are clear and He gives you so much leeway. [And since angels never get any leeway, Kevin can't help but be helplessly envious.] There are so many great things you could accomplish. There are so many great things you do accomplish. But you are always at each others' throats, and more often than not the innocent are caught in the middle.
[He is quite sure God doesn't want any of that, and the final result probably makes him terribly sad...Or maybe Kevin is thinking about himself.]
Why can't you just be happy? You were offered Eden, for heaven's sake.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
HYOUBU
That thought was quickly followed by a stab of dull pain. Ah, right, Naoya. For a moment, he'd almost forgotten that they were on shaky ground with each other right now. Well, at least they made up to the point where Naoya wasn't passive-aggressively trying to kill him or goad him into murdering him in some fucked up revenge/redemption scheme anymore. Really, he just didn't seem to get that Kazuya didn't hate him. He was such an idiot.
He forcibly shoved that thought down, realising that he'd been quiet for a moment too long]
Major sounds really stiff. I'll just call you Hyoubu. Or Kyousuke? [his head tilted slightly, expression thoughtful - he wasn't bothered with the politeness of first name/last name, and usually gave out his first name to be used, even to complete strangers. As such, he did come across as rude or just plain odd] Ah, whatever, I'll say whichever I feel like at the time.
[Prepare to be called Hyou-Kyou at some point]
no subject
Major Hyoubu-sama then? Good!
[ While they've been conversing, the last of the aggressive paparazzi have been chased out, and people have come in to clear out the mess, and bring in long tables, upon which they're setting up all kinds of merchandise. It's colorful and eye-catching, and...
Hyoubu gaze shifts from Kazuya to the table, and then back again. ]
Heh. That looks interesting.
[ With his hands in his pockets he saunters over to one of the tables, and stops in front of something. It's an item with Kazuya's face on it. To be specific, it's a dakimakura. ]
no subject
Hn? What looks...
[Kazuya's voice trailed off when he noticed what Hyoubu was looking at, his face going blank. He looked away, and then looked back. Nope. It was still there. Why was it there? The sheer ridiculousness of it blunted any indignant anger he may've felt. All he could do was stare in mute horror, slowly moving his gaze over the other items. Mugs, perfumes, comics- oh, hey, wait-]
Naoya?
[Broken from his horrified staring, he moved a little closer to the stall, Hyoubu briefly forgotten. Yup, there was Naoya on some of the merchendise too, silvery hair and smug red eyes. Well, this was beginning to get... creepy...]
What's he doing on these? He's not even here!
no subject
Hm?
[ He looks up. There's a poster of two boys, Kazuya and another that he hasn't seen before. He glances away from it for a moment, to look at Kazuya's face, and then back at the —
Oh. Right. ]
This Naoya. Friend of yours?
no subject
[Kazuya paused, then frowned, because there wasn't an easy label to stick to "Naoya". Technically, they were cousins, but far back in the past, when humanity was just beginning, they were brothers - up until Naoya murdered him, the jerk. Yeah, how was he going to explain that? Spoiler: he wasn't]
My brother. [Since that was what Naoya called him in the end. It was true, in a spiritual sense, he supposed] He's a jerk and difficult to get along with, since he puts people off with his weird ability of... I dunno what it's called. Like, hm, he's so smart that he can predict what someone does before they do it, and it's really annoying sometimes.
[He puffed out his cheeks, looking briefly irritated, before it softened] But he's a good guy, really, once you get past that. Still, though, I don't like his face being plastered on this stuff. [He scowled] He looks too smug... jerk...
no subject
It's difficult being a genius! Besides...
[ He slides his hands back in his pockets. ]
You're going to get your wish very soon. Look closely.
[ He points at the poster. He's familiar enough with the wiles of this place. People from one's life who aren't here in the city, appear in various guises and then vanish without a trace or explanation. ]
no subject
This place is going to be bad for my mental health, I just know it. [On the bright side, at least there was accessible food and no ravenous demons lurking around every corner to eat you. That was something, he supposed, crazed soul-stealing photographers aside...] What rules is this world even running on? Nonsense, that's what. Absolute nonsense. Even Babel's domain made more sense than this, and that was a pocket dimension!
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
1/2
(no subject)
(no subject)
1/3
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
1/2
(no subject)
(no subject)
1/2
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
1/2
2/2
(no subject)
1/2
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
NAOKI
[A quick dig through his memory told him that, no, he hadn't given him name at all. Oh, oops. He looked sheepish, rubbing at the back of his neck]
Oh, er, sorry about that. I'm Kazuya, or Kaz. Honestly, I'm not bothered by what you call me.
no subject
[He grins, planting one of his hands on his hips.] Now there just comes the part with you remembering my name.
[He'd dig an elbow into his side in play but he's all the way up there so alas.]
YU - Event 26
I'm... not sure?
[Kaz looked just as uncertain as Yu. It was clear that he was puzzled by this scene, especially as nothing seemed to be happening. If it wasn't for the slight movement of the high grass, Kazuya would've assumed the scene was a complete still, like a blurry picture you'd see on someone's blog or something]
Is this yours? I don't remember...
[Kazuya wanted to look away, but he felt almost transfixed. The scene seemed to flicker slightly, darken almost, the sky... darkening a little, reddening - a sunset? But no, the sun was still high up in the blue-red sky, dimmer around the edges, casting dark shadows over the waving grass, though some of it looked... slick? Wet? Yes, no, those weren't shadows. They looked like splatters, in a distinct pattern, over some of grass, clumping them together. Splatters of...
...of...?]
Ugh...
[His brain suddenly felt like something was squeezing it tightly, and he closed his eyes against the scene on the mirror, one hand lifting to press against his left eye. It was burning, suddenly, a persistent, piercing throb. He felt like... that should be familiar? Should it? The unease was still there. Something was telling him he didn't want to know. He really didn't want to know]
W-Whatever it is, let's just ignore it. [He managed to shrug off the sudden vertigo, turning away from the mirror, from Yu, that dreadful unease beginning to morph into something... else...] C'mon.
no subject
Rather than say anything more, he heads for the door, yanking it back open. He gestures for Kazuya to go ahead of him, trying not to let his gaze be drawn back to the slowly reddening mirrors. ]
no subject
He managed to reach the door without incident, his eyes flickering to the mirror where - blurred shapes were in the field now, and it looked like- a person leaning over someone half-submerged in the waving cattails, his arm raised high, clutching something, but the whole scene was in so many shades of red it was difficult to even tell what was happening. The field had blended in with the sky, the sun was a burning, piercing ball of violent crimson and- no, stop looking at it you moron!]
Shit. Damn it. No, not remembering that, not remembering it. Out, let's get out out out~
[Instead of pushing his own way out of the building like every scrap of instinct he possessed was screaming at him to do, there was still some detached part of him that made him reach out to grasp Yu by the arm and practically drag him out of the building with him. Kaz wasn't taking any chances. He leaves and, what, the mirrors focus on Yu-Yu instead? No way, Kaz wasn't going to come back in here to save him even if the whole place was on fire! Yu was coming with him right now!
So, apologies for getting hauled out of the building by a very openly distressed Kazuya. He practically staggered out of the door too, only letting go of Yu's arm once he registered they were outside and not in that claustrophobic building, his whole body shaking and his head pounding like a drum. That was... intense. Still felt intense. Everywhere he looked, he could see phantom streaks of red, still imagine the smell until he was genuinely worried that he was actually going to vomit. He managed to hold it in]
Fuuuuuck... fuck, fuck that place... [he was bracing himself on his knees, taking deep breaths like he just finished running a marathon] Fuck it hell.
no subject
The more he learns about the boy who would murder him for Minato's sake, the more he grows ... concerned.
Just who - or what - is he? ]
Kazuya-san... are you alright?
no subject
Yup. I'm fine. [Somehow, he managed to sound chirpy, lowering his hands and turning to Yu with a somewhat competent poker face. Somewhat. He still looked a little pale] Okay. Calm. I'm calm.
[Okay, good. Definitely on solid ground now. Okay. Potential disaster averted. What disaster it was... he had no idea. Already, that looming dreadful feeling was retreating, leaving him shaking from adrenaline and confused relief but... it was okay. He was totally A-Okay]
Sorry - I didn't hurt you or anything when dragging you out, did I?
[Heart rate back to normal, breathing normal... yup, it's like Nothing Had Happened!]
no subject
At the question, he shakes his head slowly. ]
No, I'm alright. That was probably for the best, anyway. The faster we got out of there, the better.
[ A beat. ]
... we don't have to talk about it. But we can, if you need to.
(no subject)
ALCOR
So husband.
[Or a very dedicated, creepy stalker who had constructed a delusional fantasy of them being married. Either way, Kaz supposed it didn't really matter what Eyelash Saiduq was to Hiro, exactly, only that he was that idiot's responsibility]
Whatever. I suppose if you're Hiro's, then you're not gonna cause much trouble for the humans around here...
[He hoped, anyway. Hiro seemed to run a tight ship in regards to collateral safety. Emphasis on "seemed"]
no subject
[ He'll just offer that to clear things up before continuing. ]
I wouldn't dream of it. To see humans prosper is my fondest wish.
[ Oh, if only Kaz knew to what extent... ]
LOP - Event 26
Ah, well...
[Kazuya didn't hide his magical abilities, but he didn't exactly want to admit that he had been startled so badly by the mirror that he had lashed out without thinking. He fidgeted sheepishly, giving the guy a critical once over as well]
I kinda... summoned them, er, yeah so, um, you alright? No burns, yeah?
no subject
You ... summoned then? [ he's half awed and half looking ready to take a nervous step back. ] ... I -- see.
[ he totally doesn't. 'magic' is still a strange and nebulous concept to him, and he clearly needs a moment to process that before asking: ]
May -- I ask why you did? Is there something threatening in here?
[ immediately looking around to check if there's a monster hiding somewhere near them. ]
KEVIN - Event 26
That's what Blood Wine's for. It's like cannibalising yourself for spell currency.
[It was a lifesaving ability that angels possessed - sacrificing your own blood to generate enough spiritual power to cast spells. It had been a desperate time, with Kazuya having to cast Prayer as swiftly as he could to cleanse the demon parasitism before the flies could successfully incubate. Praying over and over and over, spilling more and more of his own blood...
...
If he'd been fully human then, he would've died from exsanguination]
I don't know how it is for you. You're different from the angels I know - not in personality, but how you do your thing. Faith gives you power, yeah, that's true, the more a human believes in an entity, the stronger it is, but, like, true power lies in emotions. Fear, desperation, hatred... if you draw on that enough, you'll be surprised how far you can go.
[Kazuya was very calm as he explained this, and he wasn't looking at anything in particular. He didn't even look weary or strained. He just looked... blank]
I went very far, like I was supposed to.
no subject
[Very far indeed. And it is hard for Kevin to comprehend any of this.]
Even if you are a messiah...Even if you are supposed to suffer.... You should have known! God's greatest power is love.
[ It has nothing to do with worm parasites or losing blood - okay, perhaps it has something to do with losing blood - but then again, it seems like this little messiah has missed the point entirely. Every single sacrifice is made out of love.
Oh God, he is starting to sound like Solomon, isn't he?]
no subject
[Kaz felt something complex, then. There was no word for the emotion, but it sat like tar behind his breastbone, searing so hot that for a brief moment, Kaz felt like he could spit literal fire.
Love. God's greatest power was love. That sentence refused to compute. He could only stare at Kevin blankly, uncomprehending, beginning to realise that the boiling tar-like feeling in his chest was an alien, inhuman rage.
His or Bel's? He... couldn't tell...]
What... things really are different from where you are, huh? [Kaz smiled wryly] I didn't see any of that love. You angels were pretty damn eager to kill and subjugate the whole lot of us back home. Do you know what the ultimatum was? If I didn't become the messiah, humanity would've had its free will completely stripped and about, oh, few thousand innocent lives wiped off the map in an instant by God. How's that for love.
no subject
[God must punish those who behave badly. It a very difficult position any loving parent must accept, okay. Or so Kevin wants to believe. Very much so.]
You are saying that heaven wished to turn all humans into saints. Is that really bad? Free will is overrated, Master Kaz. [He has never understood the point of it anyway.] Angels were never granted free will and we are perfectly fine.
[Yes, this one-winged, kind of psychotic and pretty confused angel is perfectly fine. Michael is perfectly fine. Metatron is perfectly fine. You've got to trust him on that.]
no subject
[How was this conversation more emotionally draining than briefly reliving the Belzaboul battle? That alien rage bubbling in his chest still burned, but Kazuya was able to disentangle himself from it - Bel's, he identified. That was Bel, snarling close to his consciousness. Kazuya felt...
...
You know, he just felt tired. He couldn't even get annoyed at Kevin for his unthinkingly naive comments. Just... he really didn't know any better. It'd be like getting mad at a child, or something. Plus, he wasn't going to get into an argument about free will, or why it was better than being a creepy psychopathic puppet. He felt like it'd be never ending.
What he was going to ask though...]
Can I ask you something? Like... I don't understand. [Kazuya stared down at his hands] I genuinely don't understand why everything is how it is. You said God's greatest power is His love, right? So why is He so eager to hurt and punish us for something He gave us? Like, there were bad people in that lockdown, but they were such a minority. Everyone else... they suffered for no reason. They didn't do anything bad, they just wanted to go home, but instead, so many died for no reason, and... I really don't understand why He would let that happen.
[And Kazuya remembered then, Naoya clutching tight at his shoulders, murmuring with such frenzied passion about how the world's ills were all God's fault, how human suffering could be drawn back to one single entity, how human progress and potential was stifled by God's hand, because He feared the heights that humanity could reach. For some reason, remembering that left him uneasy, just as it did then]
It just seemed needlessly cruel to me.
no subject
This conversation is as dangerous to Kevin as it is draining to Kazuya. He takes a deep breath and speaks quietly, attempting to measure his words:]
I think He hopes...He hopes that you will choose right. But you are terribly dumb and keep making bad decisions. The rules are clear and He gives you so much leeway. [And since angels never get any leeway, Kevin can't help but be helplessly envious.] There are so many great things you could accomplish. There are so many great things you do accomplish. But you are always at each others' throats, and more often than not the innocent are caught in the middle.
[He is quite sure God doesn't want any of that, and the final result probably makes him terribly sad...Or maybe Kevin is thinking about himself.]
Why can't you just be happy? You were offered Eden, for heaven's sake.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)