[There was a brief pause, one where Kazuya was obviously deliberating over Kevin's answer. At face value, it was a nice answer. Kazuya probably would've agreed with it, prior Messiah-hood, but as it was... well, it was prettying up a disturbing element to God]
Because, I think, God Himself makes us unhappy.
[Kazuya wasn't sure how to phrase what he felt into words - he wasn't very good with them in the first place, and he didn't want to ruffle Kevin's feathers to the point where he didn't listen either, but, how was he supposed to say he deeply disagreed with God over humanity without upsetting Kevin?]
He doesn't really understand us, y'know. Neither do you. Do you know why God wanted me as the messiah? [Aside from the Bel thing anyway...] Because He needed me to relate. He was so out of touch with humanity, He didn't know how to even approach us anymore. Like, from my perspective- no, from everyone's perspective, He is cruel. [He looked at Kevin] Even your kind, the angels...
[Metatron especially, with his very cold, disdainful eyes...]
The angels are terrifying. All of us are scared of you. Not, like, because we're all dirty filthy sinners, but because you just indiscriminately killed people for slights that were... like, you took things so out of context, and just condemned them for a crime without looking at circumstances. You and God make humanity scared, so it's no wonder we aren't happy. Fear's not a good way to cultivate obedience and contentment, y'know.
[Kaz could feel Bel's anger pound a tattoo against the edges of his skull. It was disturbing, how he could relate to the demon then - Bel was many things, he treated human lives as frivolously as the angels' did, but at that moment, Bel's anger echoed his own. He tried to keep himself distant from it. That was a very slippery slope there]
In my personal opinion... [Kaz faltered very briefly, but he ploughed onwards] In my personal opinion, I think humanity would be better off without God. Without angels. Without demons. Just... without anything. It'd be better if you all just left us alone.
[Kevin gives Kaz a look that could only be described as fear. One does not simply try to apply simple logic to an angel's loyalty, young man. It takes them to bad places.]
I do not think...I do not think you know Him at all. He is omniscient, Kaz. You probably misunderstood his intentions. [He adds quickly, almost relieved at finding his own explanation.] Humans do that all the time, don't they? Misunderstand His will.
You are...difficult to comprehend, I give you that. But that doesn't mean we are cruel. [ He interrupts himself and waves his hands defensively. He can't speak for himself, being the "Angel of Cruelty" and all that. ] W-well, at least, not the others. They bless as much as they punish. Some even more!
[Carrots and sticks, okay? Honestly, Kazuya's words don't make any sense. Or maybe they make way too much sense. Whatever the case, they are scary. And he smote Solomon for much less. Luckily for Kaz, he is not that young anymore.]
You could take out angels and demons all you like, but without God you wouldn't even exist. He gave you life. Why must humans be so ungrateful?
[Doesn't Kaz understand how much Kevin would love to be forgiven by Him like humans are all the bloody time? How much he longs to be by His side?]
[Kazuya's expression was unreadable at that, and he felt alien amusement thrum through him - Bel's amusement. History was a very muddied, unreliable thing, and with the understanding that many demons - Gods, even - were born after humanity, as their existence was based on raw, human belief, it was a very realistic possibility that God giving humanity life, creating the world... it really wasn't the truth.
Maybe to Him it was, because so many people believed it to be so, so God possessed the ability to do those things, but if he actually did it... well, that was the question. Baal Marduk had been presiding over humanity long before God had ever shown his face, after all, and the truth behind Abel's death and Cain's banishment was rather suspect too...]
Besides, even if he did bring us out into the world, we don't have to owe him anything. Like, you wouldn't tell a kid he's ungrateful for trying to escape an abusive parent, would you?
[He was beginning to get into the swing of his argument now and it showed in how he stirred out of his previous dullness, eyes bright with something feverish. It was like all the doubts and annoyance he felt towards God for essentially trapping him in this position was all bubbling up as one, festering burst of emotion. Kaz had a mild suspicion that Bel was encouraging it in his subconsciousness]
I mean, what's the fucking point of giving us free will if all He and you ever do is bitch and moan about us not doing what you want? Like, you may as well have just made us into obedient dolls if it mattered that much to you. No, instead it's "you have the will to do whatever you think is right! Actually, lol, kidding, you have to do what we want and any deviation will mean you all get punished horrifically". How does any of that make sense, Kevin? How? It doesn't!
[Kaz stopped abruptly and he looked pained briefly before he managed to ease back into something more controlled. Wow, okay, he let himself get a little carried away there...]
There is more than one definition of "good" in this world. In all the worlds- fuck it, the universe, let's be real. God's opinion on what's right and wrong isn't the only one out there. Sure, I mean, I can admit, humanity's pretty flawed and we mess things up, but I honestly, truly believe that we'd flourish better without some higher being trying to dictate our direction and purpose. Or at least, not trying to strangle us while doing so. Do you- do you see what I mean? God may be omniscient but he's pretty damn stupid if he can't see that what he's doing is killing humanity's spirit, not protecting it! Humanity should manage humanity, that's my stance and it always will be!
[And... done. Wow. Okay. Wow. For the amount of time Kaz had bottled that up... that felt good to get out]
[Master Kaz is upsetting the angel. He is using words but Kevin can't quite figure out what he means. There is so much nonsense, he can't even start. God is not that cruel. Not the God he knows, anyway.
He feels like smiting him. But honestly, what good would that do? It would only prove Master Kazuya's point and at the same time deprive the kid from somebody to shout at.
Kevin was about to ask if he was possessed, but then again, that would be a rhetorical question. Instead, he takes a leaf from Master William's book.]
... My apologies, sir. I did not realize you had a...er... mental condition. Are you certain you do not care for a quick exorcism?
[Here, he will make sympathetic noises and even attempt a headpat. But please calm down, kid.]
He should feel furious at that, he realised with clinical detachment, but with Kevin seeming so uncertain and so uncomprehending of what Kaz was trying to say (or simply didn't want to comprehend, it was difficult to tell with angels whether they were wilfully ignorant or simply incapable of looking beyond the box God stuck them in) it just fizzled out. All that fire and righteous anger just... went into embers. He shouldn't have hoped for more but... never mind.
He took the headpat. There was no point fighting this particular battle anymore. Kaz simply didn't have the mental strength for it. Okay. Fine. Fine. He tried. Kevin didn't see it. Kaz... felt, okay. Vented. Uneasy still. Sort of empty, in a good way.
He closed his eyes and took a breath]
...no. No, I'm, I'm fine now. [He let out the breath and opened his eyes. Compartmentalise. He boxed all the remaining everything, put a bow on it and stuffed it below his feet. Internally he still felt unsteady, like he couldn't quite close the emotional box, and the more he pushed it down, the more everything wanted to push up - or Bel wanted to push up, it was difficult because the demon had sank so deep into all those painfully sharp emotions that Kaz was struggling to untangle it from his own thought process - but he felt. Okay. He was okay. In a way. Sort of.] I'm sorry. Should've warned you I had a... mental condition. Forget what I said before.
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[There was a brief pause, one where Kazuya was obviously deliberating over Kevin's answer. At face value, it was a nice answer. Kazuya probably would've agreed with it, prior Messiah-hood, but as it was... well, it was prettying up a disturbing element to God]
Because, I think, God Himself makes us unhappy.
[Kazuya wasn't sure how to phrase what he felt into words - he wasn't very good with them in the first place, and he didn't want to ruffle Kevin's feathers to the point where he didn't listen either, but, how was he supposed to say he deeply disagreed with God over humanity without upsetting Kevin?]
He doesn't really understand us, y'know. Neither do you. Do you know why God wanted me as the messiah? [Aside from the Bel thing anyway...] Because He needed me to relate. He was so out of touch with humanity, He didn't know how to even approach us anymore. Like, from my perspective- no, from everyone's perspective, He is cruel. [He looked at Kevin] Even your kind, the angels...
[Metatron especially, with his very cold, disdainful eyes...]
The angels are terrifying. All of us are scared of you. Not, like, because we're all dirty filthy sinners, but because you just indiscriminately killed people for slights that were... like, you took things so out of context, and just condemned them for a crime without looking at circumstances. You and God make humanity scared, so it's no wonder we aren't happy. Fear's not a good way to cultivate obedience and contentment, y'know.
[Kaz could feel Bel's anger pound a tattoo against the edges of his skull. It was disturbing, how he could relate to the demon then - Bel was many things, he treated human lives as frivolously as the angels' did, but at that moment, Bel's anger echoed his own. He tried to keep himself distant from it. That was a very slippery slope there]
In my personal opinion... [Kaz faltered very briefly, but he ploughed onwards] In my personal opinion, I think humanity would be better off without God. Without angels. Without demons. Just... without anything. It'd be better if you all just left us alone.
no subject
I do not think...I do not think you know Him at all. He is omniscient, Kaz. You probably misunderstood his intentions. [He adds quickly, almost relieved at finding his own explanation.] Humans do that all the time, don't they? Misunderstand His will.
You are...difficult to comprehend, I give you that. But that doesn't mean we are cruel. [ He interrupts himself and waves his hands defensively. He can't speak for himself, being the "Angel of Cruelty" and all that. ] W-well, at least, not the others. They bless as much as they punish. Some even more!
[Carrots and sticks, okay? Honestly, Kazuya's words don't make any sense. Or maybe they make way too much sense. Whatever the case, they are scary. And he smote Solomon for much less. Luckily for Kaz, he is not that young anymore.]
You could take out angels and demons all you like, but without God you wouldn't even exist. He gave you life. Why must humans be so ungrateful?
[Doesn't Kaz understand how much Kevin would love to be forgiven by Him like humans are all the bloody time? How much he longs to be by His side?]
no subject
[Kazuya's expression was unreadable at that, and he felt alien amusement thrum through him - Bel's amusement. History was a very muddied, unreliable thing, and with the understanding that many demons - Gods, even - were born after humanity, as their existence was based on raw, human belief, it was a very realistic possibility that God giving humanity life, creating the world... it really wasn't the truth.
Maybe to Him it was, because so many people believed it to be so, so God possessed the ability to do those things, but if he actually did it... well, that was the question. Baal Marduk had been presiding over humanity long before God had ever shown his face, after all, and the truth behind Abel's death and Cain's banishment was rather suspect too...]
Besides, even if he did bring us out into the world, we don't have to owe him anything. Like, you wouldn't tell a kid he's ungrateful for trying to escape an abusive parent, would you?
[He was beginning to get into the swing of his argument now and it showed in how he stirred out of his previous dullness, eyes bright with something feverish. It was like all the doubts and annoyance he felt towards God for essentially trapping him in this position was all bubbling up as one, festering burst of emotion. Kaz had a mild suspicion that Bel was encouraging it in his subconsciousness]
I mean, what's the fucking point of giving us free will if all He and you ever do is bitch and moan about us not doing what you want? Like, you may as well have just made us into obedient dolls if it mattered that much to you. No, instead it's "you have the will to do whatever you think is right! Actually, lol, kidding, you have to do what we want and any deviation will mean you all get punished horrifically". How does any of that make sense, Kevin? How? It doesn't!
[Kaz stopped abruptly and he looked pained briefly before he managed to ease back into something more controlled. Wow, okay, he let himself get a little carried away there...]
There is more than one definition of "good" in this world. In all the worlds- fuck it, the universe, let's be real. God's opinion on what's right and wrong isn't the only one out there. Sure, I mean, I can admit, humanity's pretty flawed and we mess things up, but I honestly, truly believe that we'd flourish better without some higher being trying to dictate our direction and purpose. Or at least, not trying to strangle us while doing so. Do you- do you see what I mean? God may be omniscient but he's pretty damn stupid if he can't see that what he's doing is killing humanity's spirit, not protecting it! Humanity should manage humanity, that's my stance and it always will be!
[And... done. Wow. Okay. Wow. For the amount of time Kaz had bottled that up... that felt good to get out]
no subject
He feels like smiting him. But honestly, what good would that do? It would only prove Master Kazuya's point and at the same time deprive the kid from somebody to shout at.
Kevin was about to ask if he was possessed, but then again, that would be a rhetorical question. Instead, he takes a leaf from Master William's book.]
... My apologies, sir. I did not realize you had a...er... mental condition. Are you certain you do not care for a quick exorcism?
[Here, he will make sympathetic noises and even attempt a headpat. But please calm down, kid.]
no subject
He should feel furious at that, he realised with clinical detachment, but with Kevin seeming so uncertain and so uncomprehending of what Kaz was trying to say (or simply didn't want to comprehend, it was difficult to tell with angels whether they were wilfully ignorant or simply incapable of looking beyond the box God stuck them in) it just fizzled out. All that fire and righteous anger just... went into embers. He shouldn't have hoped for more but... never mind.
He took the headpat. There was no point fighting this particular battle anymore. Kaz simply didn't have the mental strength for it. Okay. Fine. Fine. He tried. Kevin didn't see it. Kaz... felt, okay. Vented. Uneasy still. Sort of empty, in a good way.
He closed his eyes and took a breath]
...no. No, I'm, I'm fine now. [He let out the breath and opened his eyes. Compartmentalise. He boxed all the remaining everything, put a bow on it and stuffed it below his feet. Internally he still felt unsteady, like he couldn't quite close the emotional box, and the more he pushed it down, the more everything wanted to push up - or Bel wanted to push up, it was difficult because the demon had sank so deep into all those painfully sharp emotions that Kaz was struggling to untangle it from his own thought process - but he felt. Okay. He was okay. In a way. Sort of.] I'm sorry. Should've warned you I had a... mental condition. Forget what I said before.